caving in to pain

gonna see the doc today- hesitate
you know all he's gonna see it fat female fucked up (depression) as cause of all problems + weight. and i'm gonna have to probably see him every month to jump through a hoop if he does give me pain meds
but a pal tossed me a soma and a lotab 10 starts with z- i felt so much better about 30 min. after the soma i could cry the twisting tugging back shoulder pain was dulled to a minor sensation, a few hrs later i took the lortab w/ b'fast- because lortabs make me nauseaous, and it was omigod so much better- i have'ne been pain free in months and months, even with taking a regimen of tylenol, iburofen every 4 hours to the point i am nauseaous from those. i've burnt my back from heating pads and rubbed a mark inbetween my should blade and spine although i'm sure some chiro will correct me on it
we'll see